Tips to take the Stress Out of Traveling with Kids

Is traveling with kids stressful? I feel like this is a trick question, like one of those SAT logic questions. Remember those questions, like If all Zips are Zoodles, and all Zoodles are Zonkers, then all Zips are definitely Zonkers. Reading that definitely stresses me out, but the question is about kids/travel/stress continuum.  It is a genuine question that was posed by a mom recently who wondered whether the stress of travel with kids was worth the investment.

So, if all kids are stressful (at times) and all travel is stressful (at times), does all travel with kids multiply the stress by an infinite exponent?  Travel with kids has become so second nature to me that her question really made me stop and wonder.  Maybe I have just learned to ignore the stress because I know the benefit of travel, or perhaps I have mad skillz when it comes to stopping the stress before it starts.  It could be that my kids are so angelic that travel with them is stress free? (That’s so not true that I choked on my diet coke just writing it.)

Angelic children aside (clearly!), I think that there is a combination of gritting through the stress while having the tools to eliminate as much of the stress as possible. Now, I would never claim to have mad skillz in any arena, in fact, I would never even say those words in a regular conversation, but I can admit to having learned some discipline tricks that make travel so much easier with kids.

I feel like I need restate this disclaimer right here at the beginning.*

* My children are not now, nor will they ever be perfect. They regularly fight with each other, whine when asked to clean their room, and complain about the food I feed them. I am told that this is normal and I sincerely hope that is true.

Now I feel as though my conscious is somewhat clear to talk about some discipline strategies that I have learned that make traveling with children easier. Actually, I learned most of these little tricks when I was a first grade teacher. If you have watched a group of six year olds, you won’t be surprised to learn that first grade teachers actually schedule lessons in walking in line. The biggest educational component of the first week of school in first grade is learning how to make a line, walk in line, sit in line, and generally move together as a cohesive unit.

Once I had more kids than hands, and they were no longer confined to the stroller, crowd control became the most stressful part of traveling. Employing some of these fun methods was the first step in a less stressful family travel experience.

• Ducks in a Row. Maybe it’s all kids, but my kids certainly seem to avoid walking in a direct path at all costs. They meander this way and that, stopping to touch whatever seems interesting on the way. There are some places where this is tolerable, but when we are traveling, there seem to be more places where we need to walk the straight path, as it were. If I call out “ducks in a row” they have learned to get in a line directly behind me in age order. I learned that we had to do it in age order or they would push and shove to be the one at the front. Recently, the older boys have informed me that they are deeply offended by the use of the word ‘ducks’, so I just call out ‘in a row’ now. Whatever works, they say.
• Find your Pockets. Kids touch things. Some kids touch everything. Some places you will visit will view touching very poorly. I ask my kids to find their pockets when I need them to remember not to touch. Often this will happen in an art museum, but I use it occasionally when we are just walking and they are messing with each other.
• Put your hands under your pockets. What is it with kids and touching? When kids are bored they often get in trouble with their hands. All it takes is an innocent poke in the ribs that turns into a poking contest that turns into a full on brawl in the aisle of the train. Put your hands under your pockets just tells kids to sit on their hands, and a few moments of hand sitting is long enough to diffuse the situation and save you from embarrassing yourself on the train.
• Grab a pocket. Sticking with the pocket theme, this is the safest way I have found to travel across a busy street or airport with a small passel of kids. Almost always, I am pushing a stroller, so I don’t have free hands to hold for safety. My older kids will grab a hold of my back pocket so that I can feel that they are with me and safe, but still use my hands for the stroller.
• Backs against the wall. Imagine you are walking the streets of a foreign city with a map in one hand and a string of children in the other. You need to stop to read your map and get your bearings, but if you look away for a minute, you might risk a wanderer continuing down the street. Backs against the wall gives kids a safe place to stay put while you take your eyes off them for just a minute to find your way. You can do the same thing with ‘hands on the car’, a lifesaver if you have to unload a stroller and 10 pounds of luggage.
• Three Penny Fairy. In a perfect world, kids would do everything parents say just because. Sure. Sometimes kids need a little positive encouragement, and vacation is a good time to do something a little special in the discipline department. I offer my kids three pennies to put in their pockets, or lately, three silly bands to wear. As long as they are following instructions, they get to keep their pennies. At the end of the day they can trade each penny they have kept for a dollar, which goes into a souvenir fund to use at the end of the trip.

I wish I could tell you that these tricks worked like magic, but they do require a large amount of practicing at home to work while traveling. Luckily, running errands, sitting in doctor’s offices and just general living give us lots of time to practice. Make practicing fun. Make a silly game out of getting in a line, cheer and shout when they put their hands in their pockets, see who can keep their back on the wall the longest and give a little prize. Soon, you’ll have a whole new set of tools to use during your travels to make it more fun for everyone, especially mom and dad.

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