Travel Snob Smackdown: What Solo Travelers Can Learn from Family Travelers?

One of my favorite female power quotes is the one about Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers where it is declared that Ginger did everything Fred did, but she did it backwards in high heels. The premise, of course, is that she took all the same mesmerizing steps, but she did it with a greater degree of panache and difficulty. I feel this same way when I spend time talking with solo travelers. I want to commiserate with their travel trials and give full credence to the hell that is missed connections and shoddy hotels. In the back of my mind, though, I just keep remembering that I’ve had all those travel trials, but with kids (and their multiple varieties of baggage) in tow.

I don’t mean for this to be a war between the solo and the family traveler. That wouldn’t even be a fair fight. Family travelers would win the difficulty battle every single time without as much as a blink, but that’s not the point. Travel wars are tedious no matter who is on the other side. I know this because I was taken to task about the validity of my travel experiences recently. In a nutshell, my travel experiences with children aren’t ‘real’ because they involve a certain standard of pre-planning and occasionally include something as pedantic as a theme park. According to the upstart punk nice young man who has a glut of free time and energy, and only himself to consult about the next move, my travel is not authentic.

Okay.

My righteous fire fueled mama-bear wants to rail against this concept with all the words I can bluster. I want to show him my passport and tout how I earned those stamps three and four times over with all the little people who traveled with me.  I also want to thump this young man in the head and tell him to learn some manners. But that would only fuel this very odd tug of war involved in crowning a king of the hill of travel snobbery. In my book, all travel is good travel. We all -the solo traveler, the backpacker, the luxury traveler, the casual vacationer-need to support one another in our pursuit of exploring outside our homebase. Our comfort zones and capabilities may all be different, but we are all joined by our pursuit of something new.

I wish I could just leave this on that note of perfect harmony, but having been backed into a corner with nothing but my diaper bag, I feel like I need to take a stand. I want to represent for my tribe-a warrior band of moms and dads who follow their passion to see the world with the added difficulty of bringing the little people. These idealists have the selflessness and compassion to sacrifice their best on the altar of parenthood, but it’s not all self-sacrifice and peekaboo. They also have the hutzpah to gather up the bits and pieces of spare time and energy to cobble together a meaningful lust to continue to seek out adventure. With startling skills, these superparents give their heart and soul to their offspring, and in the sweat and triumph of the trenches of parenthood, they still find strength to give something to themselves. These master jugglers and expert dreamweavers are some of the most authentic travelers to circumnavigate the globe. And as they are wheeling their way around the world, toddler in one hand, map in the other, they have a few lessons to teach.

What Can Solo Travelers Learn from Family Travelers?

1. Be Prepared. See this overstuffed bag that barely fits in the overhead compartment? That’s where we keep our superpowers. In it we have the power to clean up projectile vomit in a single swipe, and weather a 12 hour flight delay without ever buying overpriced airport food. Traveling successfully with kids means preparing for every contingency because your very sanity depends on having the right snacks, clothing and loveys at the right time. No traveler is too young or too cool to have a bottle of Advil and a couple of granola bars stashed away for an emergency.

2. Do some Research. I can see you slowly picking up your backpack and stepping away, but stay with me. I know that footloose and fancy free is what makes solo travel feel authentic. I get it. A plan just feels like a prison. Doing some research doesn’t have to lock you into any kind of set itinerary, but without it, you may miss out on the best of your chosen locale just from lack of knowledge.

3. Take it Slow and Be Responsible. Guess what happens when you overpack a day of travel with kids with too much to do? A mini-mutiny that can rival that business on the HMS Bounty, that’s what. Family travelers know that a little bit of rest in the middle of the day and a serious amount of rest every night makes the time when you go, go, go much more effective.  

When I read a number of solo travel exploits, there is a slew of wandering days that dissolve into (often) drunken nights. In my motherly wisdom, I shake my head disapprovingly at these tales for a couple of reasons. For one, I hope to high heaven that if my children decide to drink their way through Europe, that they don’t leave a written trail for me to read and grow old prematurely with shock and worry. The moral here is to think about your mothers before you post, please. But more importantly, think about you. I know youth and freedom feel like a neverending story, but there are limits to the amount of chances you can take before your body stages a mini-mutiny of its own. Feel free to pace yourself. There’s no shame in it and you might actually enjoy more.

4. Go where the Guidebook Suggests. I know it sounds like authentic travel blasphemy, but hear me out. Sometimes the stuff in the guidebook is there because it’s actually the good stuff.  Being in the Top Ten list doesn’t automatically taint the site. You don’t have to be a slave to the guidebook, but don’t be the snob that misses the Taj Mahal.

5. Be Daring. No question, it takes an interminable amount of courage to pack up and go anywhere outside your comfort zone. The only thing that takes more courage is to pack up and go with someone holding your hand that depends on you for their very livelihood. That right there is a reality frightening enough to scare anyone back into the presumed safety of their 3/2/2 suburban home. But, family travelers, myself included, eschew the supposed scariness and just keep on traveling. I know most of you solo travelers seem to be rocking the world circuit, but I would bet that there are some travel insecurities niggling your insides. My not-so-motherly advice would be to kick those doubts in the crotch and get out there and grab your dreams. You will never be this young or this free again. Now is the time. If you still have any doubts, I can tell you a survivor’s tale of colic and food poisoning high over the Atlantic Ocean that will give you the courage to do anything.