Top Ten Strange Search Strings

Google is a marvelous invention.  Just type in any string of words and you will have a multitude of World Wide Web information at your fingertips.   Thanks to a little widget in most blog programs, bloggers can see the search strings that led readers to their sites.  This can be enormously helpful if you find yourself dabbling in search engine optimization, but it can also be downright hilarious.  Almost weekly, I read through my search engine list just to marvel at the strange things people search for and how in the world those search strings led to my site.  Here are some the weird and wonderful strings that have become my favorites.

 

1. Buck naked in the straw.  Did I write that?  My parents read this blog!  Oh, okay.  I have written about bucks (as in dollars).  And I have written about naked (as it applies to crayons).  And I have written about straws (the most important tool in sandcastle building).  But, I have never, never written about all three together.  Never.

 

2. Name and location of that shop that sells pipe cleaners.  And while we’re at it, the name and location of the shop where I can find a pot of gold.  My contribution to world of pipe cleaners involved using them to make a Traveling Toy Tube for a Toddler.  Say that three times fast.

 

3. Booty parlor.   Now, did they want a beauty parlor or a booty parlor?  Because I think you might get two very different kinds of service depending.  The only booty I’ve ever written about involves pirates and not parlors of any kind.

 

4. Poor communication between doctors and patients that refuse to speak.  Yep, refusing to speak  leads to poor communication.  I’m afraid that’s a problem that won’t be solved on a travel blog.  I’d suggest getting a new doctor.  I’ve got some tips about speaking foreign languages and I’ve got some tips about getting sick while traveling, if that might help.

 

5. I am giant the horrifying truth. It must be desperately disappointing and confusing to be searching for a hard rockin’ band from New Zealand and end up on a family travel blog.  Sorry about that.  I’ve admitted a few horrifying truths, but nothing you can really dance to.

 

6. Does Babe’s actually fry their chicken? Heck, yeah they do!  I’m wondering what is the motivation for this question.  Is this a vegetarian concerned that poor little chickens are being deep fried feathers and all?   Or is this a desperate dieter who is hoping that Babe’s misrepresents their cooking method and is actually using something healthy and passing it off as fried?   I can tell you this: there is only one way to make chicken this good and it involves a whole tub of lard and butter.  There just aren’t enough Weight Watcher points in the world to add it up.

 

7. Creepy leprechauns and kids.  Why, just why would you search for this?  Our nightmare encounter with the leprechaun from Scarborough Faire made it impossible for me to ever eat Lucky Charms again.  Why would you put an image like that in your head on purpose?  Maybe I don’t want to know.

 

8. Airport “my knickers” A quick note to my British Friends.   Here in the good ol’ US of A, when you visit an airport, you will be required to remove your shoes and your jacket, but your knickers can (and should)  stay put.  There is a chance that we might scan you and your unmentionables, so you will want to leave the chainmail ones in the mother country.   More saavy airport tips.

 

9. How to say “Your smile makes my day wonderful” in france language.   I really hope this guy finds what he is looking for and all his Parisian dreams come true.  He’s not likely to find the secret to his joie de vivre at a family travel blog.   Although, if he reads a bit more, he might learn that the language they speak in France is called French.

 

10. What is it in life that will pull you out of your seat, to be brave, to risk, to serve? That might be too philosophical a question to ask Mr. Google, but if anyone finds the answer, I’d love to know it.

 

This post is a part of Top Ten Tuesday at Oh Amanda